Cross-Cultural Conversations

Observations by a Malaysian studying in Australia

How To Make Your Essays Appear To Be Worth A Thousand Words

Over the past 2 weeks I had my dreaded spell of writer's block, which is probably due to my having to readjust to the hectic school life once again. If during the holidays I had the luxury of writing only and only when I feel like it, in the College whether you feel like writing or not the essay assignment is still due, uncompromisingly, by the end of the week.

The hardest part at writing an essay has always been at the start, as you stare blankly into the equally blank sheet of paper. This is when the brain has just finished processing the information received from the ears, and you realise that you've just been forcibly instructed by your teacher to pen a 2-page-long composition.

The human tendency to rebel means that your mind will deliberately sop the creative side of your brain from functioning and to not do as you are told, in this case meaning to not complete, let alone start on your essay in an attempt to assert your independence and sovereignty.

Sometimes we are able to overcome this rebellious streak inherent in all of us and write something meaningful on the piece of paper. Most of the time however, we are simply powerless when our Che Guevara of a mind decides it doesn't feel like fulfilling its literary obligations any time soon.

In times like this, the next best thing to do is to employ the art of appearing to write a long essay without actually writing one. Lines and spaces need to be filled, and the most obvious way to do this is to write big. Through this "technique" a line on the A4 paper which can fit up to 14 words with the typical writing style can now barely squeeze in 5. The problem with writing big is that it's time consuming, and a waste of ink.

What I normally do is write sentences half-way through and then cancel them out. This fills up space like nothing else can. The disadvantage with this is that it makes your essay look really messy. It's also time consuming. And a waste of ink.

The only legitimate, and beneficial technique, which you can employ is the use of polysyllabic words. Not only do they fill up space, they'd also very likely impress your teacher.

This is an especially feasible method for essays which I write in Malay, since the language is well known for its more-than-fair share of long words. 'Finance', the most important word for many people, is also one of the longest - Perbendaharaan; although nowadays the word Kewangan is more commonly used. Even words which are already a mouthful in English, such as 'Nationality', are no match for their Malay equivalent, in this case the tongue-twisting Kewarganegaraan.

My favourite word in the entire Malay language is Walaubagaimanapun, Malay for 'However'. Not surprisingly it's also the most commonly used word in my Malay essays. Being 7-syllables long, it effortlessly fillls up space, and is very convenient to use as school essays tend to be very opinionated and demand the writer to present views from both sides. Most importantly, my essays get completed, on time.

posted by: Tembaga2 at 23:06 | link | comments |